Burned is as Burned Does
Nope, I will never understand why I made a Forrest Gump reference there either... anyways... Went on a trip this weekend. Worked Friday and Saturday and then headed off from work to Muskegon, and a couple hours later I ate some of the thinnest pizza ever. Pretty damned good if it weren't for the gas later (well, ok, the gas ruined nothing, but still). Then I tried to make a fire.
The fire was less than particularly successful despite the copious amounts of lamp oil (from '06) and lighter fluid. Stupid green wood having to season and dry out before it'll burn like fire... crazy ass lightning storm that night? Totally made up for firefail.
Today at the beech was, to be brief: sunburnalicious. To be less brief: Great time, lots of playing in the waves like a five year old (can't wait to have a five year old of my own to watch do the exact same things I like doing, only it's age appropriate and not at all weird), little sitting in the sun, not nearly enough sunblock. Which brings us to the HOLY CRAP MY NECK IS ON FIRE! IT'S NOT ON FIRE? IT FEELS LIKE IT'S ON FIRE! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, LET ME STOP DROP AND ROLL!!!!!
And that was my weekend. I will call it successful.
-J
Don't Drink the Water
So, much has happened in the last few weeks. I'm going to write about the big news later. Super big news. Most everyone probably knows about it. At least, if you're in my address book on my phone you know about it. Anyways, it deserves it's own post. Anyways, I'm not ready to write that one yet, so here I am about to fly out for Mexico, and realized I haven't posted in a hell of a long time. I keep saying I'll get back to posting, and I might. Who knows, right now, I'm rather contented not being online all the time and not having much to say because I'm so damned busy.
So, the Cap and I are leaving for Mexico in, no kidding, six hours. We're flying out of GR at 5:50am. And that just sucks hard. Hard monkey butts. Anyways, hopefully we'll have time to visit the "All Crichton/Grisham" bookstore in the airport, I love that place.
-Jon
Everything's Bigger About Texas
June 1st, At about 6:15am I start my battle with the alarm, fight with vigor, loose, get up, get showered, wake B up then head off (thanks to B’s Uncle) to begin the Great Texas Adventure of '07. Security was surprisingly not terrible, but I did have to stand in a confined space to have a bunch of air jets puff me with air, and that was confusing. I think they were looking for rogue ions or something. I would’ve asked, but I’m sure that violates some aspect of the Patriot Act, so I just continued on feeling vaguely like a criminal. Cut to 3 hours later in Texas.
Get picked up by Randy and his girl, who are awesome. Seriously -- they drive out of their way to get us at DFW and then take us to get our Tuxes. And, while I have a whole post about rental Tuxes coming, the tuxes made us look good. It didn't fit me quite right at all, and my mutant calves were simply more than they could handle. Whatever, I looked good. Randy looked good. And... really. What else matters the day before one of your best friends gets married? To celebrate the victory of walking out of the tux place with an outfit, we decided to get some Tex-mex.
B got the fish tacos she's been saying she wanted since December, and I got something authentically Tex-mex, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was. This was the beginning of our love affair with Texas Food. Seriously, we ate well. But then, we see a waiter walking to a table with Avocados on his tray. "Avocados? I wonder what those are for." "Oh, I bet it's for tableside Guac." Says I. "Whatever, no it's not." "$10." "Deal." And, to date I'm waiting for B to pay up on that one.
After lunch we got dropped at the hotel, and if you can judge a hotel by the price of in-room bottled water, then this was an $8 bottled-water hotel. Anyways, we relaxed, napped and made our way to the rehearsal. Nice Church? Check. Cool people standing on both sides? Check. Lots of Schmoozing with family? Check? Insane military style wedding coordinator that (I'm not kidding) spent more time making sure that the attendants were standing perfectly spaced than she did on the rest of the ceremony combined? Check.
"Take a half step to your left. No, no… back to your right. Ok good. Wait. Now you both need to take a step left… more… more… stop. Now, you need to be angled more this way. A little more. A little more. No, back. Ok. Wait. Now everyone take a step to your left. You on the end, back to your right. No. Too far." *continue this ad nauseum* "Ok. Now, mark your spot and make sure that's where you end up tomorrow. And gentlemen, when you stand up there, stand with your hands right over left. Not at your side, not left over right, certainly not in your pockets. Right over left." etc, etc, etc...
Seriously (and if I hadn't been so completely terrified of the woman I would have told her), having the bride and her father positioned to the millimeter is excessive. You won't be there to give them direction during the event and they’re going to be paying attention to more important things than that exact spot you put them. That six inches you made them step back is a waste of your time and energy. But. I suppose some people are... ... I'll say exacting. Oh, I will give her props on the whole everyone stand in the same position thing. Not giving us a choice? OCD. But yes. It does look better with us all having our hands held the same way. Now go get a drink and relax.
Then. Well. Then I had the best meal of the year (so far). Simply, and completely, the best meal I've had the first 6 months of '07. Aca y Alla in Dallas. Go there. If you're in Texas. Go there. If you have to fly to Dallas. Go there. Get the Carne Asada. It's worth it. Also: the Tortilla Soup. The rehearsal itself was, to say the least, wholly different than any other rehearsal dinner I'd ever (or expect to again) seen. There was no, "Let's rent out a room and have a nice dinner then go to bed"-attitude it was, "Let's rent out the restaurant and party until we fall over." Over 100 people, live band, open bar… I mean. I'm telling you this was unreal. I’ve been to more subdued wedding receptions. And, I want to emphasize, none of this is at all a negative. It was an absolute blast. There were slideshows, speeches, jokes, and... to top it off. Cuff links. Every groomsman got personal cuff links. I got guitar pick cuff links. They rock. With a capitol R. Anyways, the party went til way after we left, and apparently Mrs. Davis did a shot of Tequila. Which is something I would've paid to see.
Next day was mostly lazy. Chilling in the room, exploring Dallas, then getting ready for the service. And, really, I look good in a Tux. After the shuttle to the church, there were pictures of the guys getting ready, getting bootineers on, the "Reservoir Dogs" video shot, etc, etc, etc. Then there were a few minutes right before we all went out there to look good in front of the 300+ folks that were there for the wedding. To be honest, I teared up a little. Not a lot. But just a bit. It was a nice ceremony with a full choir and the, you know, wedding and all that. After that, more pictures and then to the shuttle to party. Which. My god. They did it up good. B and I had actually gone to the room earlier in the day (same hotel), and it was gorgeous. There were tables everywhere, but they weren't just "This is the Table. This is every table" kind of thing, they were all shapes and sizes. There was foliage around the room (mostly shrubberies), the dance floor was huge only being dwarfed by the stage for the band. There were glowing spherical lights hanging over the dance floor and... just. Damn. When we went in, however, I saw the cake. It was incredibly beautiful (and, I found out later) tasty. Then The crow parted a little, and... I saw It. The most incredible Wedding (Groom’s?) Cake I've ever seen. It was Texas Stadium. With the Godzillatron playing the NCAA Championship game. It was beyond belief.
The party was great. Dancing, talking about Davis, great food, hearing stories about Davis, drinking, telling stories about Eric, the T-Sip*, and Mrs. Davis did another shot of Tequila. This time I was there to take pictures. During all of this, I drank Manhattans. Many, many Manhattans. That is all I remember.
The next day we explored Dallas more... actually. A lot. The whole trip we probably walked an average of 5-10 miles a day. It was a bit ridiculous. We saw the 6th Floor Museum, learned all about the JFK assassination, and actually saw the exact spot he was shot. Then we watch the spot as people behaved very strangely around it. Spent time in the West End, oh! And we went on a Trolley Ride. Not even Holly-Jolly Trolley style, but a real on-rails trolley. It was loud, and not the most comfortable thing to sit on, but it was fun.
All in all Texas was just awesome. We ate well, we drank well, we slept well, we lay by the pool well. Hell, I even got sunburned. Heh. Then we went to go home. Go to the airport about an hour forty-five before take off, and... what? Delayed? What? Ok. Ended up getting delayed about three and a half hours, with something like an hour thirty of it on the plane itself. But, we made it home ok, and after a day of lunch and dinner with my parents, we went home to start the Great Puppy Adventure. But that's another story.
-Jon
* -- The T-Sip. A traditional drinking chant-song-thing from the University of Texas. The Process is as follows: Sing “The Eyes of Texas” and every time you say the words “Eyes,” “Texas” or “You” you drink. The lyrics are:< br/>
The eyes of Texas are upon you, All the live long day. The eyes of Texas are upon you, You cannot get away. Do not think you can escape them, At night, or early in the morn'. The eyes of Texas are upon you, 'Till Gabriel blows his horn!
This is a way to get completely shitfaced in about three minutes flat. Enjoy the T-Sip responsibly.
Roach Roach… … …
So, I was thinking about starting a website for my dog. Why? Because my dog is the motherloving bomb yo. Really. She's cute and cuddly and loving and did I mention cute? No? ok. She's cute. Also. I've had a couple drinks and it might not be a bad idea to ignore everything I say out of principle or spite. Either way.
It's been a long few weeks here at NopaHQ. B looking for a job, me trying to avoid packing, Mollywood trying to.. well. Mollywood is a dog, so she's been licking herself and she's been pretty succesful at it. Which is cute if you hear about it, disturbing if you watch it. I mean, I'm a guy. If I could lick myself, I would. No questions asked. Except, thinking about that scenario... ... wouldn't you be freaked the fuck out if you saw someone licking them selves? With no exaggeration, I'd be completely creeped out if I saw myself licking myself, which is why I feel it's a good thing that people are built so that they can't.
Hell, I'm glad I can't. That'd be weird.
Anyways, I'm just trying to try to get writing here again. I will get back in the habit again, I promise you, dear reader, I will. I'm just not quite there yet. I'm not doing very well keping in touch with people, and I'm not doing well keeping in touch with myself. Therefore, I can't keep in touch with the blog. Anyways. There is still a Toronto post coming up, but... if I haven't mentioned it before:
There are few life changing experiences that a person can have in life. First love. FIrst kiss. First lay. First Toronto. "Toronto?" I hear you ask. Yes. It's a Manhattan, only with a twist of Orange instead of a Cherry. It's one of those moments in life where you say to yourself, "Oh. This is what I was waiting for." Really. Also: Your first taste of Hoegaarden beer. That's a wholey different type of first, but equally good. I will tell you all about Toronto, and having "A Toronto,' but first. I will sleep. And I will dream.
I hope you do the same.
Filed under: Bedtime, Random, Trippin No Comments
Airport Bloggin'
So, it's been a few days since I posted last. Hey, I was on a cruise in Hawaii... sue me. Or, better yet -- you know, don't. Anyways, I'm in the Honolulu International Airport paying something like 6x less/min of Internet than I was on the cruise. So, that helps with the motivation to post.
Lots of stories to be told and, if I didn't loose them, quite a few postcards to send out. I'll look for them sometime in the next 2 hours 15 minutes before my flight, and if I find them, I'll try to write them all out on the plane. They won't be stamped from a Post Office in Hawaii, but... they'll have cool pictures or artwork on them. If you were wondering why I didn't write and send them while on the ship, I didn't have stamps. And I don't know how many of the addresses I have are still current. So, you know, I'll double check before I send stuff off.
So, quick breakdown of the trip (I think I'm going to mess up when a lot of this stuff happened... it happened, just probably not in the order or on the days that I'm saying). I'll post more about a few things later...
- Day One:
- Arrived in Honolulu and went to "Little Roy's". Ended up playing poker at his... I think sister's house.
- Was the big stack playing for $100+ and I didn't believe for a second that my cousin (or second cousin... may he's a cousin once removed. I can't remember how all that works) had that ace. F*ing river.
- Day Two:
- Got some breakfast at Roy's house. Went down to the dock. First thought, "Holy s*t that's big." Said 'bye to the old man (He's almost a hexagenarian) and Roy (he just joined the hexagenarian club) they drove off whilest the girls and I wandered towards the check in.
- Met up with some of the family on board, had some fine, fine dinner and met Richard, our waiter. Well, my waiter. I think throughout the couse of the week everyone sat at a table that was outside his area at least once. I stayed put.
- Did some ice breaker activities, and started learning all the names that I didn't know already. Which was most of them.
- Went to bed on the early side...
- Day Three:
- Got up and we were now on the Garden Island of Kawai.
- I think that on this day I stayed on board... ... ... no. That's not true. I stayed on board for a while, ended up on the beach with my cousin Darren, his wife -- otherwise known as cousin-in-law -- Christine (or is her name spelled with a K? I can't remember), my sister and step-sister.
- Got some sun, and went ocean kyaking.
- Dinner again w/ Richard and some other folks. We were still kinda quiet that night.
- Stayed up later and wandered the ship ending up at a bar. Found out that the crew stays on board for 21 weeks w/out any days off. Crazy.
- Day Four:
- Stayed on board. Lazy days are good.
- I think I might have finished The Bourne Ultimatum that day.
- The boat left dock at around 1 pm and we sailed around the Napali coast of Kawai. Georgeous coastline. Seriously...
- And I think this was the first night I ended up dancing w/ the Cousins Lori, Lance, Kristen and Lisa. Brent might have come out that night with his girlfriend... ... damnit. I'm so bad with names... Kori? That sounds right. I think Darren and Christine may have come out that night too... yeah, that sounds right. Ended up back at the same bar as the night before, but the bar was closed. We got pizza.
- Day Five:
- This is the first day on the Big Island of Hawaii, on the Hilo side. Darren, Christine, Alison, Lauren and I went out to see the Kiluwa'a crater. It was trippy, like walking on the moon. Really wild stuff...
- Got back on board and I think this was the around the time (plus or minus a day) of our first cocktail party. A cocktail party with an open bar. With the Kameya family. Suffice it to say, I drank a lot. With Bill. Bill rocks. We ended up doing a bunch of Irish Car Bombs over the course of the week. Brent, Lance, Bill, Lauren, Alison?, Christine?, Darren, myself and maybe one or two others ended up doing a few shots together. And I learned about a new drink, it's called a Lava Flow. Pour Strawberry purre into a glass, coating the sides, then fill it with a Pina Colada. Yummy.
- Day Six:
- I stayed on board again, read a bunch of Without Remorse -- my personal favorite Clancy book. Hung out with Lauren, got some sun, and read a bunch. Ended up at dinner and we were loud. Really loud. I think the table had Kimberly, Lisa, Kristen, Lori, Lance, Lauren, Alison and myself. We were all sorts of loud. I don't even remember what all we were talking about, but it was a great night.
- On a few different nights I saw shows in the theater. One was a polenysian (could I have spelled that any worse?) dance show, another was a magic show. I also got to see a dude in a leather vest do some really intense stretching from like three feet away.
- We went dancing again. For three hours. I was a madman, and I finally figured out how to do the running man -- maybe.
- At some point in the evening I realized that I had sunburn. Bad. And this didn't happen on day six, it was more like day three. The burn stopped hurting sometime around day six. And it was splotchy, stupid spray on sunblock -- don't trust that stuff.
- Day Six (for reals):
- Ended up on Maui, so we got together with the land folks at the Guri Guri shop. You probably don't know what Guri Guri is, and that's fine. Most don't, it's only sold at the one shop on the one island of Hawaii... ... but if you ever find yourself on Maui, you Must go get some.
- Went around with folks and saw where the old Kameya farm was along with a bunch of other heritage type stuff. It was called the Heritage Tour. Go figure.
- We had activities at night by Downhouse (my Grandmother's place -- and yes, there was an Uphouse but it's since been sold), and I ended up singing a bunch of songs. Only I didn't know any of them and I stayed in the back. Then I got to pick up a guitar and play some Jack Johnson. Folks seemed to like that.
- Then the younger generation was going to go to a bar and get our drink on, only there were underage folks and we couldn't get in to the bar. Which isn't to say we didn't try hard, Darren talked to the bouncer for like 10 mintues -- and he's a lawyer so I'm sure he was being all sorts of persuasive, alas to no avail. So, Party at Downhouse. With box wine, and playing Spoons. Good times.
- Ended up back at the bar w/ Kristen to get a bite to eat before bed. Good times.
- Last day:
- I'm running out of time, so this is gonna be real quick.
- Another heritage tour. Sai min. Said goodbye to pops and everyone else. Cooked some teriaki beef -- lots of ginger. Uh... lots of other stuff... I'll write more later, I'm almost out of time.
8 Hours Later
So, it's been about 8 hours and already I've broken down and am using the internet on the ship. Mostly I'm just checking it out and saying, "Hello, I didn't die in a plane crash." You probably know that already, since my flight was yesterday and you haven't heard about any big plane crashes over the pacific.
This place is a trip. Seriously. One of the smallest girls I've ever met, my cousin by marrige, has told me that I should just be ordering 2 entres at a time. Why? Why not. She's going to. And she's, seriously, like 1/3 of me. Maybe less. She's tiny tiny.
The ship's moving now, and I don't want to pay much more than $5 a day on the internet, so... I'm off. Hope all's well at home, check ya'll later.
P.S. Don't e-mail me. I won't be checking it.
Here I Go Again
I'm leaving my sister's place now, for a full day drivin', trainin', and planin'. After I go for 20 minutes in a cab, I'll have 40 on a train, then three and a half until my flight leaves. I'll catch up with Lauren in Minneapolis. After an hour there, then it's an 8 hour 15 minute flight to Honolulu.
Peace.
Even More Sporadic
Despite the lack of regular updates from the Batcave here in Portage, the updates will slow to a veritable trickle in the next week or two. The problem, you see, is not that I have lost my internet connection, or anything that would usually stop me... it's Hawaii. And the fact that I'm going to be there. On a cruise. Did I mention that I'm going to be in Hawaii on this cruise? Yeah, bitch'n isn't it?
There is the possibility that I will break down and simply decide to splurge once or twice to check people's websites, from the cruise, and in so doing give myself the opportunity to update. And, frankly, that's pretty damned likely. But, I've never been on a cruise, and I don't know how much I'll get distracted by the cruise-y-ness of the whole debacle, so we'll see if I get online, on the cruse. Which, by definition, wouldn't be online on a 'line' but more likely ship-to-shore radio communications, maybe even satellite. As I said before, bitch'n.
So, farewell dear sweet Michigan, I shall miss you. But, I'll be in Hawaii, so you and your suck-ass weather can just go suck it with out me. I'm off.
P.S. Chances are I'll update again tomorrow from ChiTown before I fly out on Saturday.
Chillin' Like a Villian
Hey all, I'm out in the Roch now. Got here yesterday and I've just been hanging out ever since. Aparently, I'm not helping with a garage sale today. The main reason, I would assume, is because there is no garage sale today.
So, this was like, high school reunion weekend for me. I saw TJ and Shannon. Which is more highschool folks than I've seen in a weekend since the road trip to however many places that the Cap and I went on all those years ago.
Anyhoos, that's pretty much it. Tomorow is the show, and then back to the rat race. Huzzah. Aight, I'm out, time to donate books to the library. I guess.
Day Trippin'
I'm getting on a plane to go home today, in about 8 hours. I think I'm going to hang out in Bronxville (no, not "the Bronx") for a while, then I might just jet on down to Grand Central Station on a train -- for s**ts and giggles, you know. Chill out around Manhattan for a bit, then I'm jumping on a bus to go out to LaGuardia, I'll chill out there and then I'm back on a plane and on my way home. Huzzah, biatch.
A day, all on my own, in the city. It'll be a good day... I'll probabaly just end up doing a lot of reading.
Yesterday I walked around Manhattan with Robbie and TJ. Good time, I'd day more, but Lola just got out of the shower and I have to get in... Laters yo.
P.S. Also, I broke my bag today. It no longer has an outside pocket, just another to get into the main pocket. Sucks.