Contentment Couch
I think that's a song title. Wait. Lemme check so I know. Yup. It's a song. Anyways, here I sit, on my couch, listening to The Duffy Bishop Band... no, seriously. The Duffy Bishop Band. They're great. Blues sung by a whiskey-voiced woman. Seriously cool shit. Anyways...
I haven't been writing much lately, and I think I just figured out why. I've been having way too much fun, being way too happy, and generally haven't been in the mood to get online and bitch like I once might have. Hell, I'm hardly ever online. I've talked to people before who say, "I just don't have time to keep up a website" (I'm looking at you London-Boy), and I've never believed them. At all. I still don't. It's not that there isn't time, it's just (for me) I just don't even think of it. Of course, I want to keep this thang going, so here I am.
My dog is currently asleep with her head on my leg. Seriously I don't care about how many times she dumps in the house, her constant whining, or her eating of inappropriate things (like... horizontal blinds), because when she's being adorable there's only one thing I can think of that makes me happier. And I'm not quite sappy enough to talk about that in this context. But, seriously, if you've never had a dog sleep next to you while you just, you know, go about your business, then you just haven't lived.
I've been roller blading with the beast too, which is fun, because sometimes she pulls me and I just have to imagine the visual of my 20lb dog pulling... well... my mountainous self. Heh...
I've also begun playing some online poker again. Which is nice. But, mostly I've been just... doing my thang... keeping up with dishes and laundry, enjoying my life. Weird eh? So, my thought is that I'm going to try to come up with things I want to write about and actually keep this site going, because I've been way too lax about it ever since I got all into a relationship and stuff. So, that's the idea. I'm also probably going to try to get my recording rig set back up so I can post some of that stuff too. We'll see how long that takes, but, I'm gonna work on it.
Peace out folks.
-Jon
Lazy
It's been a while. Way too long. I've been meaning to start writing regularly on this thing a while ago, and, whoops. I forgot. Busy busy busy, but... that's no excuse. I suck. And I apologize. Thing is, I've been busy and I've been stressed, and I've been tired.
MOTHERFUCK. So, someone just got some pie spit at them. They didn't think I was serious, but damnit. Someone brings pie on my bed and then, after repeated warnings of "If you bring that close to me I'll spit it on you" "no seriously I'll spit it on you" "Fine... I'm gonna spit it on you." She's surprised that... wait for it. I spit it on her. Really. Is anyone else surprised? Beyond that, I wasn't even being an ass about food on my bed. Which I hate. I have a passion for hating having food on the bed. I hate it with the passion of a thousand burning suns. And yet, as I don't make a big deal of it, when I tel her that I'm going to spit it on her, she's surprised.
Now I'm getting shit for teaching the dag that maybe pie will appear on the bed. And, hey. Maybe she's right. But it's not like I didn't give ample warning.
Soon. Really soon. I will write about the Toronto trip. Almost, but not quite, a year after the fact. But it's ok. Why? Because the post, almost a year in coming, is so worth the wait. Also: Drink Hoegaarden beer. It's divine.
-Jon
I Guess…
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p>Supposing it's two seventeen. Let's say it's there's less than five hours until you need to be awake, showered, and getting into a car to drive to Chi-Town. Supposing it's less than ten hours until your flight leaves to Texas. And assuming that you're hopelessly awake and not at all ready to sleep. What do you do? What... do you do? Me? I watch TV. I keep myself awake watching serialized stories that.. quite frankly... don't live up to expectations or don't live up to seasons six seven or eight. Supposing that I don't make it past three tonight, I won't really get to the... well... to the three A.M. philosophy. Heh. I wanna get back to that though. In as many ways as I could possibly mean it.
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p>
Tonight. I'm going to do my thing. Keep myself up later than I should... then get myself up tomorrow to get a ride (and keep myself up to be a good passenger... because I don't like being a complete s***head)... then I get to read on a plane... maybe sleep. maybe.... ...... ........
-Jon
Wondering
I'm curious, exactly, what was done to my lappy. It was sent away to the hospital to be either a) repaired or b) shot like a lame horse. Option B was more my fears. Anyways, it was sent back already. It only got sent out last Thursday, and I'm not sure what they might have done to it. I'm afraid that all they did was do exactly what I did before and see that it fixed the problem. But when I did it (oh, and I reinstalled OS X) it was only a temporary fix. Which sucks balls. Because I'm going to have to get them to fix it again in a while, and eventually I'm going to get mad.
I hope I get it back today. I miss it.
-Jon
Wait… What? Christmas?!
This time of year is a favorite of mine. My birthday, Christmas, New Years and a s*t ton of snow... ... ... which is why I didn't get excited for my birthday, I just realized that tomorrow is, in fact, Christmas. It's not some fake Christmas that's just trying to be Christmas only all it manages is grey skies and drizzle. Stupid drizzle (and not the cool Snoop Dogg drizzle... for shizzle).
Honestly, I don't think that Christmas is trying hard enough this year. Seriously, it's Christmas Eve and I'm not angry every time I hear a Christmas song... which seems somehow wrong to me. Usually by this time I've been hearing Christmas music since three days after the fourth of July, and Christmas decorations have been up since the day after Labor Day... right? Do you feel me here? I mean, sure, there's the holiday shopping rush. Kind of. I didn't hear about anyone getting shot for a stuffed animal this year. I mean, yeah, I think someone got gangland-style shanked for a PS3, but that's different. Video gamers are supposed to be violent and impulsive. It's just not Christmas without at least one story of a mom in her late 30's kicking the ever living crap out of an elderly grandmother for the newest "Look I'm a Whore - And your Daughter Will want to look just like me" doll on the market. So, Christmas... you're officially on Notice. Next year, I don't want you to hold back. Next year I hope that you'll get "Santa Baby" (perhaps the single most ear piercing mind melting piece of Christmas drivle to ever have been produced) on the radio no later than April. Because that way, by this point, I'll be happy you're here... I'll be happy you're leaving, but at least I won't feel like you were just half-assing it. This year feels so non-Christmassy... I don't get it.
-Jon
Making Myself Better
Someone told me today that I'm good at sharing my emotions and/or thoughts. Which, to be honest, I find a bit... well... funny. I'm not. I'm really not. I tend to hide... I hide in plain sight and I tend to give people exactly what they expect, and given that they're getting what they expect, they tend to not look much further. Or would it be farther? Farther, if I remember, is physical distance isn't it?
I'm trying to be honest, or at least more so, with people, and I'm trying to be more myself. I'm still not very good at it, and it's times like these that a few things will come out that I don't want... and I won't be able to take them back. My only hope is that at the end of this I will remember to hit draft instead of publish and my words will forever be relegated to the abyss that is the mySQL database of this site. Yup... I was speaking Russian there for a minute if you didn't understand me. Deal with it, I'm multilingual.
I'm thinking about loss... loss of someone you know, someone you don't, or just something. It seems as though fate or God or Budda/Muhammed/whoever has decided that today is the day I think about it some. I'm typically not particularly religious, and I certainly don't like the idea that my life is in someone else's hands, but... ... too many things on one day to be just a coincidence... ...... ....... unless you study coincidences... in which case you know that if you flip a coin 100 times, it's likely that it'll come up heads or tails a dozen times in a row at least once in that period. But coin flipping, while fun, isn't really on my mind.
Some shiznit has gone down with me lately, and I haven't talked about it, and I probably won't for a bit. Hell, not too many people in the "Real World" (not the MTV show -- the actual real world... where people have fat, and don't always have ridiculously cool jobs to ignore) even know that there was something maybe going on... ... ... because I don't know how to share.
I've done some good things these last few months, and I'm -- frankly -- very happy with where I am in my life... except that a lot of times I still feel... ... ... I don't know. Something's missing. A hell of a lot less today than a scant few weeks ago, but still. I don't always feel like I can be the person I want to be for my friends, and I don't always feel like I can be the person I want to be for me. Which sucks, because I'm happier with myself today than I've probably ever been. Except for my blog. Oh, how I've neglected you Oh Blog. You who will be coming up on six years old in less than six months... I've paid so little attention to you this last... what? Year? I mean... My Goodness... It's been at least a year since I've made a new template for you... ... I'm thinking it might, almost, be time... ... except that time is a luxury that I'd much rather dedicate to things that are a bit more.. ... ...... ........... tangible. People, places or things.
If you hadn't guessed by now, I can't sleep. I've been exhausted for so long I don't even have the energy to sleep some nights, and it's terrible. Except that... I'm used to it. Which might be even more terrible. Alright, I'm going to crawl under the covers, sing myself a lullaby, give myself a hug, and try to find something to dream about... ... ... ... although, finding something to dream about lately hasn't been nearly as hard as it used to be...
-Jon
Life is Beautiful
I got more sleep last night that I have for the previous two (maybe even three) combined.
The Lappy is busted, and I need to get some stuff off of it so I can finish up some work.
My room is messy and I don't have time to clean it.
Exhausted. Exhausted. Exhausted.
Add it all up, along with a few other things going on and my life is, really, utterly fantastic. I bit off too much this fall, I am playing a bit of catch up at work, and I'm not sure when the busybusybusy will end. But I'm having more fun than I have in a while, and damnit if it isn't nice.
-Jon
Rumination
So, here I sit at work. It's early, I'm tired, and I want little more than to take a nap. I can't wait to get home tonight, eat a bit of mashed potatoes, stuffing, turkey and gravy. It's gonna be so damn good.
Mostly lately I've been busy as all sorts of hell. Work, gigs, my excuse for a social life... And lately, my social life has gotten even more hectic, in the best possible way. It's been a little bit since I had this going on (a year or so ago since the Ann Arbor debacle - I just named it), and a while before that since anything like this. It's all good, but I have the feeling it'll start to take a toll on my (always good and healthy) sleep schedule. I mean, seriously, if I don't get my 2 1/2 hours a night, I start to get cranky. ... ... Heh heh.
-Jon
Not Too Political
I try not to get too political on this page. Every once in a while I might (not gonna link, you've just gotta search all my archives -- mmmuuuuuuwaaaaaha ha ha ha ha ha! Or... don't search my archives if you don't think you want to... you're missing out...) get into things a bit... but I try to keep this place a safe haven from the incredible morass of suck that the political landscape in this country has become. This is both funny, relevant, and scary as all hell. Enjoy.
-Jon