F**k, Sonofabitch
I was about to buy my ticket to go to New York City. It's a f**ked up process, and I don't like it at all. I have the money, but not on my card, I hate Spirit Air right now. I might try to find some other way to get a ticket, but I'll deal with it tomorow... After work. Freaking Spirit Air.
Crappy Crap Crap
Of the 40 most recent comments made to my site, 39 of them were spam. I'm done with it. I'm switching off anonymous comments. I'm sorry, but ya'll need to register for a TypeKey thing. I'm sick of deleting comments by the dozen from spam-bots that are advertising Zoloft and Paxil. I am, however, never ever using Zoloft of Paxil (or any number of other brand name prescription drugs). Freaking spam.
I was going to write about something completely different. I can't think of what though. So I'm going to bed, it's freaking late and I've gotta get some sleep. There is, however, very little chance of me getting very much sleep because I really need to get up at a decent hour so that on Sunday when I open at work, I can actually, you know, get up and open at work. Aight, I'm out.
Vision
Are you like me? Do you idolize Ron? Do you think Tony needs a statue and a national holliday? Does the Amazing Pasta Pot just turn you on? Then you're like me, and the tens of others like us, and we demand satisfaction.
America is changing, the times are changing, you're changing. In in these changing times, we need something new, something better -- something bold (aside from experimental punctuation used simply 'because'). Do you want your television programing to lie to you? Of course not. Do you want television that is straight forward, makes no pretenses and just tells it like it is? Of course you do. Does network or basic cable programing satisfy your needs?!? I'll tell you it does not.
That's right folks, today I'm here to talk to you about a (theoretical) new television network. It doesn't pander to your emotional responses like SoapTV, it doesn't garner your attention by making you laugh like Comedy Central, it doesn't tap into the voyeristic nature of people like... ... ... well... all the networks, basic cable stations and your telescope/binoculars. This (hypothetical) network will give you nothing but information, amazing (read: clinically insane) hosts, and briliant (read: paid for time and services) "inventors/spokes people." That's right, I'm talking about Infomercials!!!
Are you a recovering insomniaholic? Do you yern for the days of sleep depervation just to get that next "in the next 10 minutes" deal? When you're walking through Sears, do you see a knife and just wish you had a giant hunk of stone? Then this (completely fictitious) new network is for you!! Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you could take a whole cucumber and juice it? Ever wonder what that would taste like if you mixed in Pinaple Juice and Potato Juice? If you have this (made up from the fabric of my own mind) new network is for YOU!!!
So call your cable provider, your satalite provider, your state representitive and the president. People need to hear, people need to know they're not alone. They need to know they have a choice!!!
The preceeding has been a mesasge paid for by the (imaginary) Infomercial Producers of America (here to fore known as the IPoA). All characters are fictitious. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is a coincidence. The views and opinions are those of the authors and do not represent the IPoA, the web host, the webmaster, the author or anyone else. You have been warned.