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Copy Rights

I got in a discussion the other day with Jo about the nature and value of having extended copyrights. I wasn't particularly well armed at the time with arguments, and I am still not particularly well armed. I am, however, getting reinvigorated to the fight. Ish. Anyways, this is a Wired article about some copyright issues, and this is a book by Lawrence Lessig. The whole book is up there, all Creative Commons like. Anyways, the Wired article is what I'm thinking about now. I'm sure I'll get all riled up about it, or maybe something else, and I'll make a post with substance, but for now... Courage.

Omlets Acording to Jon

The second in my ongoing series of articles about how to live life, acording to Jon. This time we discuss that oh-so-loved combination of unborn chickens, cheese, and often other stuff.

How to make an omlet at, we'll say, a fancy resturaunt

Plan ahead; i.e. know if there will be mushrooms and green peppers in your omlet as oposed to just cheese, or cheese brocolli and water chesnuts. Prepare ingreedients for omlet (saute onions or whatever else may need sauteing, etc). Heat pan, put in butter, when butter stops foaming add eggs. Make sure pan is not at too high a heat, when egg starts to cook, slowly lift up egg from pan and allow liquid egg to run under cooked egg and then, itself, cook. Repeat until eggs are mostly (only mostly) all cooked. Add ingreedients to one side of egg "pancake." Don't overfill. Carefully, with spatula (not fingers) lift side of eggs that doesn't have stuff and fold over the stuff. Make sure the fold is nice, pretty, and most of all that all the stuff ends up inside the eggs. Put pan in oven (or under broiler) with some more cheese on top. Allow eggs to finish setting, 5-10 minutes (probably closer to five) take omlet out of oven, plate onto a nice plate, sprinkle with chives/green onions.

How to make an omlet in Jon's world -- Once again in list form

1. Watch TV
2. Realize that you're hungry
3. Continue watching TV
4. When motivation finally comes in from the cold, go to kitchen, realize that all you have to eat in the house is eggs, cheese, and "stuff" ("stuff" being any combination of breakfast meats, ground beef (not a breakfast meat, is it? right, so it gets it's own listing), cheese, salt, pepper, onion, garlic, mushrooms, brocolli, red peppers, and one time an orange)
5. Decide to make an omlet
6. Start heating pan
7. Decide what to put in omlet -- for this example, we'll say bacon, onion, cheese
8. Start cutting onion
9. Realize that pan is getting too hot, turn heat down and remove pan from heat
10. While pan is off heat, add bacon
11. Continue cutting onion
12. Realize that bacon stopped sizling, put pan back on heat.
13. When bacon is nearly cooked, add onion to pan -- now we have a decision to make
14. Decide if you want to make a "true" (read: folded) omlet, or a "lazy" (read: not folded) omlet. 9 times out of 10, we choose "lazy."
15. When onion is almost done, realize eggs aren't out of carton, let alone cracked or mixed... decide that's not a problem, we're already being lazy, let's go all the way.
16. Crack eggs straight into pan. Allow to set about 2/3rds of the way to where you want them.
17. Flip the entire glob of eggs, bacon, and onion. This results in a huge over-easy egg (usually 3-4 in fact, and it could be over-well, or whatever... depending on your prefrence).
18. Decide that it's time for cheese
19. EXTREMELY QUICKLY CUT CHEESE
20. Throw cheese on top.
21. Flip this whole breakfast pie onto a plate, with cheese side down so as to let it melt.
22. Look for a fork.
23. Find dirty fork in sink
24. Wash fork.
25. Eat and enjoy.

This is really how I usually make eggs. Sometimes I scramble the eggs. Sometimes I don't add cheese (when I make the described breakfast pie, I usually don't add cheese...) Course, when I need to impress... I also know how to kick some ass on the "true" omlet. I just usually don't see the point. The way I make it takes 10 minutes start to finish (longer with bacon, shorter with other, quicker cooking, breakfast meat), and it tastes exactly the same... Or better... if you like the fried egg taste over scrambled... Mmmm... I want one now... but I shant have it.

Look Ma, I used "shant" in a sentance. Aren't you proud?

Life Acording to Jon

Writing this site for so long, I've recieved many (imaginary) letters that have asked me variations on this question. "Jon, you are obviously a well adjusted, skilled liver of life, and I was wondering how is it that you do those things you do?" I am here, now, to answer that question in a series I have entitled, "Life Acording to Jon."

Today's Subject: Laundry.

We'll break this down into two sections (perhaps three, this is to be determined). Section one, how the traditional world does it... First, they take care of their clothes, putting them in a place (like a hamper) when they are soiled. When it comes time to wash, they seperate colors, fabrics and take the time to make sure that everything is out of pockets. They use measured amounds of detergent, fabric softener and bleach. Once the load is done in the wash, the typical next step is to move the clothes to the dryer, throw in a dryer sheet and wait for the clothes to... you know, dry. After drying, folding sorting and putting away are all in order. Now, I will welcome you to my world. Step by step -- in an ordered list (because ordered lists are fun)

1. Realize that the laundry room in apartment complex closes three hours. It takes two hours to do laundry. Must start within an hour.
2. Wait 55 minutes
3. Grab hamper (that replaced "that spot on the floor" when girlfriend purchased it for you), seperate clothes into "underwear and socks" and "those things that don't need to be washed today."
4. Fill hamper with underwear and socks, then pick through the rest of the clothes now sprawled across the livingroom floor for things that you like. Add things that you like to hamper.
5. Put on pants
6. Grab gallon jug of liquid detergent place on top of clothes stuffed in hamper, walk down two doors to the part of the building with the laundry machines.
7. Go to open the laundry room door, realize you don't have the keys.
8. Walk back to the apartment, grab keys, walk back to laundry room.
9. Realize you grabbed the work keys.
10. Walk back to apartment. Get right keys.
11. Put detergent into machines by following the following steps.
    1. Open Jug.
    2. Hold jug over laundry machine.
    3. Push button and count to something near five.
    4. release button
12. Stuff clothes into the machine with little to no regard for the "capacity" of said machine.
13. Make sure the tempurature is "Cold" so that hawaiian shirts do not make underwear tie-dyed.
14. Start machines, leave.
15. Wait 40 minutes.
16. Go back to laundry room
17. Move clothes from washer to dryer.
18. Clean lint trap, find spider.
19. Amuse yourself by toying with spiders life for a few minutes.
20. When spider tires of these games and leaves you alone, start dryers. Set to permanant press -- so as not to shrink the previously mentioned underwear, socks, or Hawaiian shirts.
21. Wait 45 minutes
22. Back to the laundry room to stuff all clean clothes back into hamper.
23. To prevent serious wrinkling, dump clothes from hamper to bed when you return to the apartment. Walk away.
24. Four hours later, when readying for bed, stuff clothes into laundry baskets that serve as late-night obsticle course in bedroom.

Congratulations, you have now done your laundry as I do my laundry... with little to no effort or thought. Huray.