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Bikers, Drivers and Bikers…

I don't understand people. I really don't. Sometimes people are so wonderfully awesome that it makes me pee my pants a little, where as sometimes people are so unbelievably stupid I want them to move to a cave in the woods and get eaten by a bear. Take, for example, the many times in the last two weeks that people have almost killed themselves by doing stupid and illegal things in cars... all with the purpose of being polite to me. On my bike... while they almost kill me, themselves or both of us.

See, I've been biking a lot. I'm trying to get nice and trim for the wedding in a (holy shit) few weeks so I've been going on 6-12 mile bike rides. I have seen all sorts of new things I never would have imagined just a month ago, and it has been proven to me just how many people don't deserve to drive or interact with others in public.

My favorites so far have all involved me on the sidewalk and someone in a car trying to wave me on. It's a nice, sweet gesture that shows that they care for their fellow man, and yet... I want to punch them each and every time they do it. The first person waved me on when she stopped at a shopping center driveway. She was a nice asian lady with her kid in the car. I almost went, and I certainly appreciated the sentiment, except... oh, look... someone else is pulling up next to you and they're not looking. Ok. I wave her on. She waves me on. I shake my head and wave her on. She waves me on emphatically with an expression on her face that said, "no you dumbass, I'm being nice to you. Go. I'm not moving until you go." Relenting, I start to cross the driveway watching the other car pulling up, still not looking, and am hoping beyond hope that the jackass looks up from his crotch (ok, maybe cell phone. But I couldn't tell). Nope, didn't look up and, what do you know? I almost got hit by a car. Only the fact that swerved and was paying attention saved me, oh! wait, almost died again because someone was pulling into the shopping center.

Seriously, I don't have right of way. I am supposed to wait until traffic clears. There's no light, and it's a lane of traffic. Your polite gesture of goodness almost killed me. Twice. Then there was the nice lady that I'm pretty sure recognized me from work. Yeah. She almost caused a multi-car pile up on a 35mph road because she insisted that I go. While she was stopped blocking (count them) two lanes of traffic. I was riding down the sidewalk again, and she was turning left into a gas station. No problem. It's my responsibility to watch for cars when I go across driveways. I stopped. She stopped. In the middle of the road, her and her pretty red Wrangler stopped. And waved. And waved. And waved. I had already stopped, started to pull out my water bottle, and stood on the ground and still she waved. Seriously, that's just fucking stupid.

Anyways, I've been having fun on my bike, especially the parts where I start yelling at people that can't hear me. It's a whole different experience than yelling at people who can't hear you in cars. Because on a bike, other people can hear you, and look at you. And slowly back away.

-Jon