Archive for category Geek Out

Clichéd Open Letter to The Heroes Creative Team

Dear Mr. Kring, etc.,

I know the whole, “Open Letter” thing is now so common it’s a joke. I’m also confident I’m not the first to voice my disapproval of Heroes of late but, dammit, I just can’t keep it in anymore. Mr. Kring, you’re killing your show.

First off: why, oh why, can you just not follow the rules you’ve set? You start off with a few people having abilities, all of them seemingly getting them from their parents. Only, if they get the same ability (Matt Parkman, Sylar) or a different one is totally arbitrary and serves only the plot. But then, why does Parkman suddenly get the crazy eyes and painting ability. He didn’t even get it from anything. Apropos of nothing, suddenly he was “a prophet.” Then he stops painting, but we don’t know if he can’t or doesn’t. So, what is it? Does he see the future? Does he not? Was it a weird manifestation of swine flu?

Second: If you make a character have strong morals, extreme ethics, and the ability to take any other ability… don’t you think he’d do something about loosing the girl he loves in a horrible dystopian future as a prisoner? Maybe he could take his time-traveling friend’s ability so that he can go save her? No? Ok, how about get his time-traveling friend to take him to the future to help? No? Maybe… mourn? Even just mention her… to anyone… ever. No? Ah-ha! I get it! Having a character make any fucking sense is apparently anathema to you and yours. Asshole.

The biggest thing I’ve been having a problem with is your immortal characters. And not just the cheerleader. Let me ask you this, why don’t you give your story some sort of emotional weight by killing off a character? What? Oh, Veronica Mars? You want to use the Veronica Mars defense? Ok, how’s about the “Who Gives a Crap” gambit? You haven’t heard of that one? Ok, it goes like this. No one gives a crap if you kill off a character you introduced that season that has no moral center and is, frankly, mostly annoying. Any other characters that you introduced only to die before you could make them interesting enough for us to care? Nope, we don’t care about them either. You have a huge cast of really interesting characters that people love. They would be well-served to be thinned out like the deer population. Kill off a few so that the others can thrive.

No, seriously. I stopped caring about these people because they are immortal like Jack Bauer; except it’s a very different show you’re running. Sure, Jack Bauer has testes the size of an elephant and can yell hard enough to get that vein in his forehead this close to popping; but he’s the show. He is the show. After 6 full seasons and most of a seventh, if he died, it’s because they were ending the show. In the universe of 24 if Jack Bauer wasn’t alive to be in the right place at the right time to do something just outside the rules, the terrorists would win. Always. In Heroes you have a bunch of people who, literally, have super powers. Show us that they are, in fact, human. Kill one and let them be dead. Don’t bring back Ali Larter to be her heretofore unknown third identical. Or, if you do, MAKE IT INTERESTING! Have Nathan have some sort of crisis of conscience about screwing this girl that looks just like that other girl he screwed. Have ice-girl have the thought that maybe Nathan isn’t really into her, but he’s really just trying to relive the crazy Vegas weekend he had with her twin that she never met. Maybe just have someone else comment on the fact that it’s really screwed up and nearly incestuous that he’s just going around boinking the triplets-McSuper.

Oh, and killing off Nathan in the Volume 5 finale? Yeah. Would’ve loved it if you had let him just, for the love of all that’s holy, let him stay dead. But no, that just isn’t good enough for you. Suddenly Matt Parkman is able to make Sylar forget who he is to the point that he’s no longer a threat. What? Where was that four seasons ago? By giving Parkman’s ability that kind of power (weird sentence, but that was seriously the best I could do) is to make the previous everything-that-has-happened-on-your-show meaningless. It could have ended the first time Matt met Sylar. Maybe stretching it out to the third… sure. But… four seasons? Blow me.

I’ll give “Volume” 5 three episodes. If you don’t let Bryan Fuller do what he does best (and that would be: Make a show that contains insane fantastical elements make sense(Pushing Daisies anyone?)) we won’t be on speaking terms.

-Jon

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Holy Crap

<p>I really don’t know how the hell <a href=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNXe_3gVz6I&eurl=&feature=player_embedded” target=”_blank” title=”Computer Friends”>this</a> is supposed to be a promo for Seagate… oh. I just saw a “Thank you for supporting creativity Seagate” tag at the end. … … That does not a promo make. That means Seagate made a donation. Ahh well… semantics. This video is bitchin. And yes, super, amazingly, crazily, geek.</p>
<p>kthnxbai!</p>
<p class=”signoff”>-Jon</p>

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Slash

I’ve been thinking a long while now about getting a new car. It’s not so much that I needed it, but… damnit, I wanted it. I really wanted to have a car to have fun with… play with even. Desperately, deep down in my heart, I wanted to make a car go *JUMP*!I know, I

know. It’s totally irresponsible, it’s stupid and I can put real people (myself included) at risk driving like a total turd. But it’s just so damned fun. I even had some kids watching me today too… It was great, they thought I was the bee’s knees. The so-called cat’s meow. Course, I guess it’s not all that dangerous when your car weighs 4.7lbs.

Seriously. I’ve wanted an R/C car like this since I was 12. Since I was 12. No. Really, I was 12. And now I have it. I rule (really, my wife rules for not thinking me completely stupid for wanting it). I am so happy I have an R/C truck. I like even more that I can make it go 70mph+ with the right motor and battery. Heh.

-Jon

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For the Paranoid…

Seriously. If you worry about this stuff, and know what stuff I’m talking about, this is how you can protect all your RFID tagged cards from the Man. Make it a bit bigger, and no one can read your unencrypted Passport RFID either. Word.

-Jon

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An Ode to Wil

I adore Wil Wheaton, I think I’ve mentioned that before. When he linked to the Literal Translation of the Take on Me video, I fell that much deeper.

Really, however, was this post where not only does he go on about how he doesn’t believe in DRM (squee!) but also makes reference to a glamour of an Ascot. Which makes me all squishy inside and… gosh if I don’t want to kiss that man on his beardy face (not in a sexy way, just in a you’re awesome way).

-Jon

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I Just Killed Firefox…

I’ve only had two crashes with Mozilla’s Firefox. One of them was random, and didn’t feel the need to submit any crash report. Then I just killed it. I sent along this note with the crash report.

I was running multiple windows of Firefox while logging into multiple bank sites using 1 Password while hulu ran in the background. Also, I was dancing a jig and thinking about how magical computers are. Really, it’s my fault. I killed firefox.

-Jon

P.S. It’s possible that’s not a verbatim quote. I forgot to copy/paste.

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Holy Crap I Should Be Asleep

Ryan and I are up geeking out about his website and mine and CMS’s and… oh lord I need to be asleep because I’m getting married in 12 hours and 45 minutes. Crap.

-Jon

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Puppy, etc.

Pups in a Crate

So, we got the puppy and it’s been interesting. He’s a little guy and, therefore, doesn’t know what the hell to do when he has to pee. So he just goes where ever he feels like. Fortunately, we haven’t had too many accidents, and I’m pretty sure his bladder can only handling something like, 2 tablespoons of whiz. Beyond that, the last few days have been really nice with him. He’s been keeping his big brother tired, and his big brother keeps trying to eat his leg, so it’s a nice symbiotic relationship. When they get tired, they’ve been falling asleep apart, except this morning Toby got up, went into Magglio’s crate and cuddled right up next to him (click on the picture to the left for a bigger version). It was possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

Pups on a Chair

It’s really weird having two dogs here in the casa. First of all, I’m really used to Magglio the Cog. Or maybe he’s more of a Dat. He’s really independent. Doesn’t like to be touched most of the time, and he knows how to climb like a badass. Now we have Mr. Toblerone and Magg’s is all like, “OH MY GOSH PUPPY!!!” And Toby’s all “HOLY CRAP! WHAT’S THAT SMELL? and what’s that smell? wait, what about that smell? OHMYGOSHANOTHERSMELL!!!” then he sleeps for a hour. What’s really weird is when they start playing. Magglio is so used to playing with dogs 4-10 times his size (no, really. His Man-Crush Gus is 100lbs and he’s weighing in at an astounding 10lbs) that I’m nervous that he’ll just eat Toby. And Toby is so new to this mortal coil that I’m afraid he’ll not understand that he’s playing and eat Maggs. It’s a delicate ballance they need to strike, and so far they’re doing it well. But, as the parent, I still get nervous when I start hearing the growling and yelping. Also: when watching TV and getting into what’s happening to Sylar and Peter Petrelli when the coffee table suddenly jumps because 15lbs of dog decided that it was time to play “Let’s See How Homoerotic We Can Make Our Wrestling” (the answer is: extremely — they’ve ended up in a adorable puppy 69 more times than I can count), it’s just plain distracting.

Anyways, in addition to the +42 cute modifier we just got to our house, I realize that with the big camera, two dogs, a honeymoon and lots of house projects I’m going to want to document, I’m going to need a better system for this website that will allow me to not worry about images ever. Something that does automatic thumbnails would be great, and I can’t decide if I’m going to make Movable Type fit my needs, or if I’m going to head on over to something like Wordpress. Or something else. I may have to set up multiple project blogs to see what I like. Yup. It’s that time again. Jon’s gonna work on the website.

-Jon

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Am I Completely Stupid?

Seriously. I just started looking up info on how to set up my new übertube. I want to ride the cable companies tubes to mind-numbing nirvana and to do that, gol durn it, I’m gonna need my brightness set right, my contrast set right, and everything else set (think I’m gonna say “right” don’tcha?) just so. In order to do this I, ideally, need a übertube setup DVD to set all the levels etc. However, I just read a few things that — given my geek quotient (which was apparently lower than I thought, and is now back to an appropriate level) — shocked the everliving hell out of me.

For TV settings, if it was labeled Black Levels and White Levels instead of Brightness and Contrast, I’d've understood how to set that shit right ages ago. Why? Because I’ve understood black and white levels since my high school days of screwing with Photoshop, Brightness and contrast? Well shucks, I just thought they controlled… you know. The brightness and contrast. Which they kind of do, at least in terms of end result, kind of… but more as a tertiary function of actually controlling the black levels and white levels!!!.

For those not in the know (and, why would you when the industry that should’ve taken the time to tell you decided to treat you like a retarded monkey) Black and White Levels control how black blacks appear and how white whites appear. But let’s go over it in English, shall we? Black levels when increased will mean that the range of luminosities on your display that appear black will be shallower — example: everything that should be black will look gray if set too high. The thing of it is… … no. No. no. I’m not going to turn this into a lecture of something I’m not an expert in. But. Really, the “brightness” control will make things look brighter, but only becase you’re telling the tube to not show any actual black. Watch your TV sometime, if you’re watching a DVD and the letterboxing (you’re watching in letterbox right?) is gray instead of a deep deep black, you’re settings are wrong. And sure, it’s your choice, but really, it’s wrong.

And yes. I am actually angry about this. And yes, much of the anger is directed at myself. It’s taken me this long to learn this? For real?

Seriously. Am I the only one that think that treating a society like idiots that you will only create a society of idiots?

-Jon

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p>P.S. If you want to make yourself a test pattern DVD to set everything up right, you can.

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Hrumph

So. I abhor my current phone. It’s not mine. I didn’t buy it, and it’s a very functional device. It’s just, well. It blows. Chunks. With wetness mixed with the chunks.

Even now, after getting wireless syncing with gCal set up, I still don’t like it very much. Contact syncing (which I’ve never had working on any phone) still doesn’t work, and the whole thing just feels so ‘00 to me. Which sucks, because in ‘00 I would have given my left nut proudly to carry something like this. Ahh well. The joys of being a phonegeek.

Also, I need to go to bed. Desperately. Hopefully I’ll find sleepy in the next few minutes and get there.

-Jon

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