Archive for category Apocalypse Now
Seriously, What the Fuck?
Posted by nopa in Apocalypse Now on May 21st, 2008
This is a USA Today article about how some schools are rounding up an F from whatever the score is to a 50% automatically. In other words, they’re taking someone who signs their name to a test and hands it in blank a 50%, because if they got a 0% it could become mathematically impossible to pass the class. Well no shit. This is the kind of bullshit teaching/life-preparation that has allowed people to get to young adulthood without half a clue as to what is required to, you know, live.
Now, more than anything else, there’s one part of this article that really just pisses me off.
“It’s a classic mathematical dilemma: that the students have a six times greater chance of getting an F,” says Douglas Reeves, founder of The Leadership and Learning Center, a Colorado-based educational think tank who has written on the topic. “The statistical tweak of saying the F is now 50 instead of zero is a tiny part of how we can have better grading practices to encourage student performance.”
Seriously? Ok, so you, Mr. Douglas Reeves, obviously have no clue as to how grading is handled at an elementary school level. To get an F, you do not need to get a 0. Believe me, I know. I’ve gotten them. You need to get a 59%. Or a 49%, or whatever other percentile that is less than or equal to 59%. Sure there is a greater than average chance that they’ll fail… … if their teacher grades by chaos theory. Yes. That’s right, if I were a teacher, labeled my steps with 0-100 in intervals of 5, then threw my kids names onto the stairs and that was their grade, sure… they’d have a better chance of failing. If, however, I work with them and they, you know, are capable of thought they have a better than average chance of passing. Why? Because people aren’t governed by laws of statistics, it’s not random and teachers are capable of turning the most bassackwards thinking kid into someone who can at least pass some standardized tests so s/he won’t be “left behind.”
I will say if my kid gets a 45% on a test, I want them to get a 45% F, not a 50% F. It was good enough for me… …. …… yes. I am that crotchety.
-Jon
Uh.. well… uh… … … huh.
Posted by nopa in Apocalypse Now, Bedtime, Boob Tube, Emote! on December 12th, 2007
I’m simultaneously having a geekgasm the likes of which haven’t been seen since Valeri Polyakov completed his 366th day aboard Mir setting in motion a series of geekgasms that resulted in the Great Hanshin Earthquake of ‘95 (is it possible I spent too much time doing reasearch for the opening paragraph of this post? Yes.), and I’m also suffering from the depression that sets in when you know that civilization as you know it will come to an end. Because of Knight Rider.
New Knight Rider? Excited. New car is going to be a Shelby GT 500? Super excited and wetting my pants. William Daniels no longer voicing KITT? Exceptionally sad, Michael. Will Arnett voicing KITT? uh… is it just me or did the universe suddenly just stop, start giggling like a schoolgirl on nitrous and then explode?
Seriously. I just don’t know what to think about Gob Bluth becoming one of my most beloved (oh hell, they’re all beloved) childhood television characters. Could be good, could be bad. I just figure that either way it’ll be extreme. To the limit.
-Jon
Parental Control
Posted by nopa in Apocalypse Now on October 31st, 2007
MTV is evil. This Parental Control show is absolutely everything that is wrong with America. Really. I just watched 10 minutes of it, and I don’t know if I’ll ever feel clean again.
-Jon
Good. Freaking. God.
Posted by nopa in Apocalypse Now, Holy Crap!, The Movies on March 23rd, 2006
I’m not sure if the tears that are clouding my vision are due to the overwhelming sadness I feel for the future, or if they are of joy. Pure, sweet, cinematic joy. Either way, check it.
-Jon
These are Trying Times
Posted by nopa in Apocalypse Now on March 19th, 2005
Seriously, this (registration required) is not a good thing. I really have little to say beyond that… but… wow. Aight, really, food now.
Is This What We’ve Come To?
Posted by nopa in Apocalypse Now on December 23rd, 2004
In yet another update in my never ending search for the signs of the Apocalypse… here we go…
This is an example of how laws can begin to get a tad bit too intrusive. How, in the blue hell, can anyone justify to themselves that this law was worth suggestion, let alone passing? Instead of passing a law that prohibits your citizens to, you know, shower, why don’t you pass a law like, "If you’re gonna get nakke, draw your blinds, thanks…" Actaully, that would probably work better as a suggestion, but whatever. Also, I have a serious question for the folks who dreamed up this law — are you going to arrest and fine every couple who conceives a child post-Jan 1? because they have, almost definately, broken your law. Another little problem would be (as noted in the article) anyone who catches someone illegally-naked would also face charges of being a peeping tom. What motivation does anyone have to report such behavior?
In other Apocalyptic news, I’ve now seen a music video that absolutely positivley signals the end of the world. Shania Twain singing with, none other than, Mr. Extra Correspondant himself — Mark McGrath. No. Really. The song, also, is a perfect example of what I mean when I say "S**ty Country Music." It’s derivitive, it sounds almost exactly like pretty much everything else that I’ve heard Shania sing, it has a painfully simplistic story told over really shiney, but bad, music. It’s everything about the music industry that I hate. Really. Here’s the formula for this song — take one part Shania, one part other-genre Singer (preferably male), 1/3 part each of three chords (preferably the I, IV and V), lots and lots of Pro-tools Auto-tune or equivilant, and 1 part each of many Nashville session players so our studio budget doesn’t get overblown by silly things like "musicianship" or "playing music that evokes emotion." Have you noticed that I don’t like the song much?
Have you noticed that I’m grouchy? Yeah, that’s because I forgot how to sleep. Or eat well. Or smile. No, wait… I can still smile. But sleeping and eating well — those are things of the past. The grouchy is a direct decendant of the non-sleep that I’ve been getting lately. I have, however, gotten a lot done in my video games. That’s good, right? Oh… no, wait… that’s just kinda geeky. Aight, I’m going to vaccum my room, go run some errands, come home, pack my clothes for home, and go to bed. Hopefully I’ll be asleep by 10. That’d be sweet.
Enough is Enough
Posted by nopa in Apocalypse Now on November 8th, 2004
Seriously, I try not to knock on peoples religion or faith. It’s something that I feel I have no right to do. I take issue with folks who try to force their religion and/or faith on others, but that’s an issue with the person and not the faith. I just saw the single most insane things I’ve seen in weeks. And I see a lot of insane stuff in any given week.
I just saw a comercial for a debt relief group. What you do is you "sow into" this thing, and your debt is going to be forgiven. By God. Just because. There was a couple on the comercial that said their debt was forgiven supernaturally. Seriously. They sent in a list of their debt, and their "love gift" and they got all their debt forgiven. Now, does that sound like something that the creditors of the world are likely to take part in? If you’re Master Card, and you get a call from God Himself on a phone that isn’t plugged in and he proves it’s Him by causing it to rain frogs. You’re not going to cancel that person’s debt. It just wouldn’t happen. I hate people who take advantage of the beliefs of others, it’s sad and pathetic and I wish folks would realize that there are no easy solutions to debt. It doesn’t just go away.
Also, I was woken up by a phone call today. This was the conversation that I had.
Me: Hello.
Guy — in a timid voice: Yeah, I was just wondering. Uh… do you service propane in Lawton?
Me: Uh, what?
Guy: Do you service Lawton.
Me: Um.. Do you realize that you called a residence?
Guy: Uh… … … … …
Me: You called me at home man…
Guy: uh… … … … …
Me: I think you got the wrong number
Guy: uh… … … well… …. *click*
Seriously, the least a person could do in that situation is say, "Oh, sorry about that." And hang up. I hate when people get the wrong number and just hang up. It’s even worse when they talk to you for a while, realize they have the wrong number, then just hang up. Pepole suck.
Now
Posted by nopa in Apocalypse Now, Ruminating on October 15th, 2004
Wal-Mart is the countries largest (or at least one of the largest — in terms of volume) sellers of music. This is depressing to me in many ways. Not the least of which is that the three people that are in charge of buying music for sale at Wal-Mart stores have no background in music. One of them used to buy their snack foods (this is all, by the way, info I’ve read in the most recent Rolling Stone). Anyways, these are all bad things. However, Wal-Mart is aparently trying to get labels to sell them CDs at a price that makes $9.72 a realistic price for every CD that they sell. What the hell? A nameless, faceless, evil corporation is pushing for a pricing strategy that very closely mirrors what I’ve been saying for years now. This has got to be a sign of the apocolypse.
In other news, I’m playing a gig on saturday. For real and official. It’s the first gig I’m going to have played for a while, and I don’t mind telling you that I’m not just a little bit nervous. I’m not sure that my voice will hold up, and I’m not sure that my fingers have, well, any type of callous on them at all. That’s all ok, though… I played with Doc two days ago in Ann Arbor. And damn, if that wasn’t a fine time. So, after playing with him, hopefully everything will be ready for this Saturday. You should come, it’ll be fun.
Also, Ratchet and Clank is one of the single best game series in the world. Hands down it just rocks so hard. mmm… Ratchet and Clank…
Mary-Kate and Ashley: In Action
Posted by nopa in Apocalypse Now on September 21st, 2002
They have a cartoon. They’re secret agents. They have a friend called I.Q. The first five minutes of the episode I was watching delt with TV reception and how they, as secret agents, need to "go check it out."
I feel so freaking dumb right now. I mean. Oh god. The four horsemen. They’re comming. NOOOOOO!!!!