Things I Wish I Had Said
To that girl I knew in High School, "I'm not saying I'm not an idiot, I'm just saying you're a bitch."
To that guy who was at my store that time, "Yes, I understand there is a long line, And I understand that you have better things to do, but do you understand that by sitting here and yelling at me you don't move up in line and, in fact, you make the line go much, much slower?"
To that guy, "What the fuck man, what the fuck?
To that lady in the store, "NO! Please don't call the police, it was an accident."
To the mall security guard that kicked me out of the mall, "Dude, you're kicking me out becuase I 'did not purchase anything?' Seriously? I BOUGHT LUNCH AT THE FOOD COURT!!!! BOOH YAH!!!!!!!!!!!"
To my old boss that time, "You said you'd give me a promotion for transferring stores against my wishes, and you said you wouldn't transfer me stores without talking to me again, and you did it again. You're a dick, Dick."
To my wife that time, "You have an unhealthy relationship with peopleofwalmart.com, but I still love you."