Dreamweaver
I Had some seriously strange dreams last night. The first was that I was in the Veronica Mars universe in ROTC... I was all Army-ing it up when all of a sudden the focus shifted to Wallace Fennel. He was busy getting out of a huey (that's Army talk for Helicopter) that was hovering over a river. He had on a safety harness and was still clipped on to the chopper when something got caught in a poorly placed series of wheels and gears on the side of the huey and started pulling in the line that was connecting him to the chopper. For some reason he had forgotten he was still attached until the moment when the line went tight... He fought against it, hard, and it finally snapped off him, swung around the pivot point where it was getting pulled from and the carabiner that was attached to his harness came back with incredible force and went right through his helmet and killed him... ... in the dream it was extremely graphic and my dream-self puked.
Then I had a dream that B and I were going out of town... we had gotten everything ready to leave, and slept in the car. But then in the morning we had to use the bathroom, so we went inside and the couch was gone. So was the table in the kitchen. So we made out for a few seconds, then my dream self realized that the furniture was missing and I started to freak out. At which point B ran upstairs, I followed... and of course we were then in my house from high school. We were trying to get it ready to sell, and our realtor was there -- crying.
I'm not sure what it means, but I'm pretty sure it means that I had some messed up subconscious that likes to mess with my conscious self.
-Jon
Clichéd Open Letter to The Heroes Creative Team
Dear Mr. Kring, etc.,
I know the whole, "Open Letter" thing is now so common it's a joke. I'm also confident I'm not the first to voice my disapproval of Heroes of late but, dammit, I just can't keep it in anymore. Mr. Kring, you're killing your show.
First off: why, oh why, can you just not follow the rules you've set? You start off with a few people having abilities, all of them seemingly getting them from their parents. Only, if they get the same ability (Matt Parkman, Sylar) or a different one is totally arbitrary and serves only the plot. But then, why does Parkman suddenly get the crazy eyes and painting ability. He didn't even get it from anything. Apropos of nothing, suddenly he was "a prophet." Then he stops painting, but we don't know if he can't or doesn't. So, what is it? Does he see the future? Does he not? Was it a weird manifestation of swine flu?
Second: If you make a character have strong morals, extreme ethics, and the ability to take any other ability... don't you think he'd do something about loosing the girl he loves in a horrible dystopian future as a prisoner? Maybe he could take his time-traveling friend's ability so that he can go save her? No? Ok, how about get his time-traveling friend to take him to the future to help? No? Maybe... mourn? Even just mention her... to anyone... ever. No? Ah-ha! I get it! Having a character make any fucking sense is apparently anathema to you and yours. Asshole.
The biggest thing I've been having a problem with is your immortal characters. And not just the cheerleader. Let me ask you this, why don't you give your story some sort of emotional weight by killing off a character? What? Oh, Veronica Mars? You want to use the Veronica Mars defense? Ok, how's about the "Who Gives a Crap" gambit? You haven't heard of that one? Ok, it goes like this. No one gives a crap if you kill off a character you introduced that season that has no moral center and is, frankly, mostly annoying. Any other characters that you introduced only to die before you could make them interesting enough for us to care? Nope, we don't care about them either. You have a huge cast of really interesting characters that people love. They would be well-served to be thinned out like the deer population. Kill off a few so that the others can thrive.
No, seriously. I stopped caring about these people because they are immortal like Jack Bauer; except it's a very different show you're running. Sure, Jack Bauer has testes the size of an elephant and can yell hard enough to get that vein in his forehead this close to popping; but he's the show. He is the show. After 6 full seasons and most of a seventh, if he died, it's because they were ending the show. In the universe of 24 if Jack Bauer wasn't alive to be in the right place at the right time to do something just outside the rules, the terrorists would win. Always. In Heroes you have a bunch of people who, literally, have super powers. Show us that they are, in fact, human. Kill one and let them be dead. Don't bring back Ali Larter to be her heretofore unknown third identical. Or, if you do, MAKE IT INTERESTING! Have Nathan have some sort of crisis of conscience about screwing this girl that looks just like that other girl he screwed. Have ice-girl have the thought that maybe Nathan isn't really into her, but he's really just trying to relive the crazy Vegas weekend he had with her twin that she never met. Maybe just have someone else comment on the fact that it's really screwed up and nearly incestuous that he's just going around boinking the triplets-McSuper.
Oh, and killing off Nathan in the Volume 5 finale? Yeah. Would've loved it if you had let him just, for the love of all that's holy, let him stay dead. But no, that just isn't good enough for you. Suddenly Matt Parkman is able to make Sylar forget who he is to the point that he's no longer a threat. What? Where was that four seasons ago? By giving Parkman's ability that kind of power (weird sentence, but that was seriously the best I could do) is to make the previous everything-that-has-happened-on-your-show meaningless. It could have ended the first time Matt met Sylar. Maybe stretching it out to the third... sure. But... four seasons? Blow me.
I'll give "Volume" 5 three episodes. If you don't let Bryan Fuller do what he does best (and that would be: Make a show that contains insane fantastical elements make sense(Pushing Daisies anyone?)) we won't be on speaking terms.
-Jon
New Years Resolution
So What if I'm a little late on my resolution. I'm here, I'm... wait... no... that's not the right turn of phrase. I'm here, and I'm going to make my resolution late or not. I resolve to write more, write with a purpose and not just post things that follow this basic pattern:
- Bitch
- Bitch
- Bitch
- Mention that I pooped today
- Bitch
- More poop talk
- Bitch
- And I fart
As interesting as those posts can be, they just get... well... repetative. And lots of talking about brown. Anywyas, I've got a lot of work to do on the house, lots of things to do in the yard (speaking of poop -- I don't think you can comprehend how much crap my dog can create -- I'm speaking 1/2 his body weight in a day), and I need to start exercising again. I've been a bad, bad boy when it comes to exercise. But... that's another post. For tonight, I will vamoosh, but blog, I will be back sooner than later. That much, I promise.
-Jon