Don't Piss Me… … …
I used to play Doom a lot by dialing into a friends computer. Like, seriously. We'd use modems and it'd just be the two of us playing because that's all we could rig, and any time our Mom's or Sister's or whoever else decided they needed the precious precious commodity that was our phone line... ... well... they felt our wrath. The point of this post, however, has nothing to do with him except the title: he used to type that a lot. Because he didn't have time to finish with "off" before I killed him. Heh.
I recently had a conversation with someone I've had a relationship with for years and years. It went something like this:
"Oh. Oh no you didn't. That's right asstard. You kidnapped my girlfriend, then you have the audacity... damnit! screw you dipshit. You don't get to jump on that! HA HA HA HA HA!! Oh that's right! Take that! DOWN WITH YOU ASSHOLE!!!!
And thus ended my first trip through Super Mario Galaxy. I slapped Bowser like a pimp and made him call me Daddy. Now I have to find every single power star. Why? Because they're there. And damnit. I want them. Now.
-Jon
Radioshack, You're on Notice
What. The. Fuck. I've been a avid user and advocate of the last do-it-yourself electronics retail store for years. I've gone in to get equipment for projects and been offered jobs. I've struck up a relationship with the manager of a store that got me all sorts of feel-goodness. So I ask you, Radioshack, why hast thou forsaken me? Seriously. What the fuck?
So, here's the deal. I've been a man of many electronic components for years. I haven't had to actually go to a store to purchase cabling for my TV set up in... we'll say 10 years to not be silly, but it's probably closer to twice that. Really. (WARNING! TECHNOBABBLE AHEAD!!! WARNING!!!) But, on the occasion that I've needed to get a RCA -> 1/8in Stereo cable or some other less-common (such as two mono 1/4in -> 1/8 in stereo or somesuch) Radioshack has always been a safe haven of cheap-ass cabling. Until yesterday. Yesterday I decided to fix the setup downstairs at the house. See, right now we have two devices capable of playing DVDs. One is the lappy the other is the StayPlationDos. Neither are convenient if we want to watch movies, say, together. If I want to watch a movie while sitting on the not-so-comfy chairs at the table? Rawk, I got the setup to end all setups. If I want to relax and not have my ass start throbbing from being subjected to one of the worlds less comfy chairs? Not so much. Anyways...
So I went to Radioshack last night when I found out there was one by our house (thinking: "Hey! I could start doing projects again!") And to my dismay, they only sell RCA cabling in the assfuckretarded style of Monster Cable. Oh, and the $30 Radioshack off-brand Monster Cable. Seriously. If I had been in a bad mood when I got there I would have demanded to talk to the CEO, then I would've made a joke about how he was probably back at college fixing his resume. And they wouldn't have gotten the joke. But it would've been a hella-sweet burn. Oh yeah.. .. ... ..... .... anyhoo. So. Seriously. $30 was the cheapest they were able to get for RCA video cabling. And RCA video cabling is something that, unless you own a $10,000 home theater you really don't need to spend more than $3 on. Seriously. If you have a Standard Def TV (ie: square, not wide) you (as far as I'm concerned) shouldn't spend money on cabling and they should be given to you. Sure, a $30 cable would improve the picture, in theory. The thing is, with ~480 lines of resolution (versus the 720 or 1080 for HD) you really won't see the difference. With less than 35+in? You won't see the difference. I have not-so-hot components, feeding a clearance-from-Blockbuster AV switcher, feeding a TV from the 90's. I owe it to myself to not give two shits about what AV cable fits one part of the chain. The end result is going to be so degraded by link or another it doesn't matter, but now I don't even have the choice to purchase a shitty cable. I ask again. What the fuck?
-Jon
Bachelor Living.
So I'm home alone (well.. with the poop-machine Mr. Magglio) for a couple of days. The kitchen is a mess, there are clothes thrown every which way, and I've just generally caused chaos. It's kinda fun. I don't have the lady home, and it's nice to not worry about what kind of mess I make (in reality, I think I have a few more dishes to do and the counter to wipe off, and there are some socks on the table... but whatever. This is bedlam compared to the status quo around here). I'm about to start a 9 hour day working at the kiosk. The kiosk is going to be nearly contained anarchy in a big-box retailer the day after Turkey day. I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm sure that I'll get home and be ready to pass out. I hope everyone had a good Turkey Day and I'll see ya'll soon. Cool? Cool.
-Jon
WGA.
Seriously. Watch this. It puts into words why we don't have the Daily Show in a way that is far better than anything I could ever have come up with.
-Jon
Lore. I love you.
So I don't know about you, but I love Lore Sjöberg (also here and here). He simultaneously enthralled me and broke my heart when I found The Bruching Shuttlecocks. I was enthralled with the content, funny, smart, goofy, quite honestly just batshit insane. Broke my heart? Yeah. I'm never gonna be that funny and that makes me cry. A lot. Like a little schoolgirl. Who skinned her knee. And poured lemon juice into it.
He has created a new song. Seriously. Listen to it.
-Jon
Ahhh… I get it.
I figured out why comments aren't working. I also don't care enough to actually fix it. Therefore, I'm turning them off until I get off my ass to make a new site that actually, you know, works. So, in other news, I dropped off the deposit check to the site of the Wedding/Reception today. And, for all my talk about not looking forward to planning a wedding, really.. it's going to be fun. Stressful fun, but fun.
In other news, I accidentally shaved my goatee. It's been quite a few years since I last went without the so-called chin pubes, and it's a little weird to be able to see my, you know, face. I'm probably going to let it come back, but who knows. Maybe I'll just go for a soul patch, or even a mustache! Hells yeah. Wait. No. Yes. A mustache with a soul patch!!! It's just crazy enough to work.
-Jon
Bizarre Withdrawl
I'm a phone freak. I used to be a phone hater. Now I'm a player. A phone player. So, please, don't be a playa hater.
I just lost my Blackberry. It's my own fault, and I'm a dumbass for loosing it, and I did loose it. So therefore I ordered a new phone that will take advantage of my phone network's fun full broadband speeds. Seriously, my old phone will do damned near everything that I really cared about with the Blackberry. It's also damned near nothing like the wonderful-awesomeness that is the experience of using my Blackberry. The BB would just... you know. Work. I could sync my gMail, Google Calendar and... well... Those were the important parts. See... the thing is that I got to geek out on forcing the BB to sync with that there gCal. Now... Well. Now I have to find something else.
Fortunately.. .... ...... ........ ......... I found it. And I'm a freak. So. I'm excited. Anyways. I'm out. I've gotta get this working. Peace motherlovers.
-Jon
Red Wings Down = Blackberry Down
I'm a complete dumbass. I just killed my phone. Killed it dead. Like, LCD cracked, no display, dead. Why? What could have been so upsetting to Jon that he felt that he had to take it out on his phone? Why, the Blackhawks scoring against the Red Wings. That's what. How big of a dumbass is Jon? This big. [-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------]
Pretty big, eh?
-Jon
I Don't Have Kennel Cough
So. Yeah. I had mentioned previously that I had kennel cough. Turns out that I don't. But B does. Or, something like it. Maybe it's p-neumonia. Maybe it's flu. Maybe it doesn't really matter at all cuz it's knocked her off her feet and into bed/the couch. Hopefully this'll get better soon and I'll be able to take her out to the big field behind the church near us and let her watch Maggs and I run around. He's ridiculously cute and... well. I have a cutesy dog and I'm ok with that.
The other big news is that it turns out I don't sleep very well. Like, it's been diagnosed and everything. Hopefully it'll all get figured out and I'll be able to sleep and get rest. I'm really looking forward to it. Until then, I'll just do what I can and sleep when I can. Like, for example. Now.
-Jon
Never Again
I've been cooking for a long time. Playing with sharp knives in my kitchen for a long time. I've been doing it all without incident or accident. Until today. Today I cut myself damned good. Two fingers, one deep the other no so deep. I've been bleeding off and on all day, and the advice of a doctor was, "Yeah. Most finger lacerations can be fixed with a band-aid, you'll probably want to change it tonight." .. ... ... yup. That's some good advice. Except I had to keep cooking. And so I kept bleeding. Three band-aids later, and one very well used latex glove, I'm not sure it's stopped bleeding yet. But, whatever. I made some kickass mac'n'cheese and I made one hell of a eggplant parmesan. Because I can cook through pain. I am a real man.
-Jon